


Did It Hurt When You Fell From Santa's Sleigh?

by cute_nerds



Series: 2016 Fic Advent [3]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bad Pick-Up Lines, Holiday Pick-Up Lines, Jongdae embarrasses himself, Joonmyun loves him anyways, M/M, You've been warned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-04
Updated: 2016-12-04
Packaged: 2018-09-06 12:46:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8751940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cute_nerds/pseuds/cute_nerds
Summary: Jongdae tries using holiday pick up lines on Joonmyun. It goes about as well as you'd expect.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Bad pick-up lines give me life, okay.  
> Day 3 of Fic Advent 2016   
> (I know, I know, it's the 4th, I'll catch up soon)

"I am mystified," Minseok proclaimed, "As to why you continue to insist on studying here if you're not going to do any work."

Jongdae tapped his pen against his lips, staring thoughtfully down at the mostly-empty flash card in front of him. "I work," he protested, feeling indignant at Baekhyun's disbelieving snort. "I do! My studying is like a unicorn." Minseok raised an eyebrow at this assertion, but let Jongdae continue. "Just because _you've_ never seen it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen."

"My point," Minseok continued, rolling his eyes with an air of magnificent patience, "Is that if you're not going to study anyways, why does it have to be here? It's crowded, it's hard to find a seat, the coffee from downstairs is sub-par - "

Jongdae would have listened to Minseok's tirade, he really would have, but at that moment he was distracted by the tell-tale flash of an orange sweater. Sitting up straight, he posed as though mid-scribble, though his gaze was no longer fixed on his notebook but the volunteer peer helper currently pushing a cart of books their way. This peer helper wasn't just _anyone_ , though. No, this one was short, and handsome, and always willing to help you find anything you needed. This one had a smile that made anyone within a 10-foot radius swoon, and somehow he made the hideous orange sweater that peer helpers were required to wear look _good_. Jongdae fixed a hopeful smile on his face as he approached, heart fluttering in his chest as the peer helper passed by.

When he'd passed by, Jongdae dropped the posture of attentive study and propped his head on one hand. "So pretty," he said dreamily, ignoring Minseok and Baekhyun exchanging a knowing glance.

"Ah," Minseok remarked. " _That's_ why you like this library."

✦

The truth was, Jongdae was not very good at talking to people he thought were cute.

While this was probably mystifying to most people, as Jongdae was _Very_ Cool, the truth was that he just blanked when it came to cute people. His mouth glued itself shut. His cheeks turned a mysterious shade somewhere between purple and red. Occasionally, he stuttered. It was an absolute mess, which was why Jongdae was always doomed to look, but not touch.

This was especially true in the case of Joonmyun the Peer Helper. Ever since he'd seen him pushing his cart around the library, shelving books and helping frantic students find research material, Jongdae had been smitten. But despite the fact that Joonmyun appeared to be the most approachable, sweetest and most kind individual on the face of the planet, Jongdae had been unable to figure out how to go and talk to him. Baekhyun and Minseok were of no help in this, suggesting things from "just talk to him" to "pretend that you can't find something" to "take your shirt off". Well, Jongdae was unable to form _word_ _s,_ so that was out. He didn't want to pretend (what if he messed up? What if Joonmyun thought he was an idiot?). And he didn't have abs to speak of, so there was no way that his shirt was going anywhere other than on his body.

He wrestled with how to get Joonmyun to fall in love with him in between projects, midterms and a pair of overly enthusiastic friends, but was no closer to finding an answer when Chanyeol, of all people, came up with an idea.

"Why don't you try using pick up lines?" he asked, and Jongdae furrowed his brow at him. If Joonmyun was the kindest person known to man, then Chanyeol's boyfriend was the scariest person. If Chanyeol's methods of wooing were anything like his taste in men...

"You asked Kyungsoo out with a bad pick up line?" he demanded, and Chanyeol shrugged. 

"Kyungsoo asked _me_ out," he informed Jongdae. "And not with a pick up line." Chanyeol ignored Jongdae's mutter of _that's because you're whipped_. "But hey - they're funny. And if you get turned down, you can pretend you were just kidding."

"I don't think I want to take love advice from you," Jongdae sniffed, and Chanyeol smacked him on the shoulder companionably before moving on to other topics. Somehow, though, the idea stuck with him, which is probably why he'd looked up "holiday pick up lines" online. 'Tis the season, right? Everyone liked the holidays. It was theme-appropriate. He'd say a brilliant line, Joonmyun would swoon, and they'd all live happily ever after. Right?

Right.

✦

_You just have to talk to him,_ Jongdae reminded himself, hands wrapped around his backpack straps, twisting nervously. _He's kind and friendly and always smiles at people. It can't be that hard. Just do it._

He'd been lurking in the stacks for five minutes now, trying to build up the courage to go say something to the gorgeous Joonmyun. He'd almost done it, too, when a lanky individual had wandered over and started asking questions of the peer helper, thus causing Jongdae to dive back into the bookshelves before he was seen. He was getting some odd looks from the pair studying by the window, but he wasn't going anywhere until he talked to Joonmyun.

_You can do this_ , he told himself, and peeked between the books to see if Lanky Student had left Joonmyun alone. The orange-sweater clad angel was shelving books once more, and Jongdae cleared his throat, straightened his shoulders, and wandered his way, feeling his heart start to get faster and a strange fluttering in his palms.

He stopped just short of the cart and smiled, waiting for Joonmyun to look up. When he did, Joonmyun startled a little bit, and then offered Jongdae a warm, friendly smile which just about stopped his heart in his chest. _Breathe, Jongdae_ , he told himself.

"Hi," Joonmyun greeted, glancing down at the book he was holding and slotting it into the shelf neatly. That done, he turned to Jongdae, smile still intact. "How can I help you..."

"Jongdae," he managed, and Joonmyun beamed. "Jongdae. Are you looking for something?"

Jongdae's throat worked. "Um," he said eloquently, trying to remember. "Well." Joonmyun looked attentive, which was enough to egg him on. "Do you know a lot about snowflakes?"

Joonmyun's brow furrowed thoughtfully. "Snowflakes?" he repeated, thoughtfully. "Well, meteorology isn't one of my majors - "

Oh dear. He was actually trying to help him out. Jongdae was going to have to cut this off before he started pulling out books on weather patterns. "Because I think I've fallen for you," he interrupted, stopping Joonmyun before he started suggesting looking through the library catalogue. Oh, god. This was the worst idea ever. Jongdae was going to have to transfer schools and change his name, because this was a terrible idea and his cheeks had just turned that strange shade of red and -

"Really," Joonmyun said, a smile returning to his lips. It was a slightly different smile than before, something softer and amused, and Jongdae (despite being preoccupied with dying of embarrassment) fell a little more in love at the sight of it. "Is that so?"

They just looked at each other for a few moments, Joonmyun smiling, Jongdae lovestruck, before someone's phone went off. Joonmyun startled, again, and peered down at his phone, frowning thoughtfully. "I have to run, I'm sorry," he told Jongdae, looking back up at him and offering an apologetic expression. "I'll see you around?"

With that, Joonmyun and his hideous orange sweater were gone, and Jongdae was left without a date ... but not disappointed. He adjusted his backpack on his shoulders, thoughtfully.

"Maybe Chanyeol was on to something," he mused, before wandering off to find coffee and dream about Joonmyun's smile.

✦

Despite the ribbing that Jongdae had gotten from Baekhyun and Minseok after they'd found out about his wooing of Joonmyun, he was determined to see it through. Joonmyun had said that he'd see him around, and Jongdae had taken it to heart. While he couldn't _always_ be in the library, particularly as final exams approached, he would definitely do his best. Being studious, after all, was good for his GPA (in theory).

Joonmyun was running the help desk today, where distressed undergraduate students could ask him for essay help, proofreading and advice. Despite the obligatory orange hoodie, he looked as handsome as ever, and he was  _also_ wearing glasses today. Jongdae stopped short a few feet away from the help desk, brow furrowed at the sight, and wondered how someone could look so perfect without the universe opening a wormhole, or something. Surely it just wasn't plausible?

Wormhole or lack thereof, Jongdae was determined to see this through. He was still nervous, but Joonmyun's smiles had gone a long way towards giving him a little more self confidence, and so he clenched his hands into fists and walked over with purpose, rehearsing his pick-up line in his head. As he approached, Joonmyun lifted his head from whatever he was working on behind the counter and spotted Jongdae, waving cheerfully his way.

"Hey," he greeted, folding his hands on the counter. "How are you? Jongdae, right?"

Jongdae shoved down the feelings of glee that had surfaced at Joonmyun's remembering his name, and leaned on the counter companionably. "'M alright. How are you?"

"Great," Joonmyun smiled. Jongdae's heart fluttered. "What can I do for you?"

This was it - the moment of truth. Was Joonmyun just humoring him, like he probably humored everyone else who fell for his charms? (There had to be a lot of them, Jongdae was sure of it. Joonmyun was just too perfect for nobody else to have noticed). Jongdae took a deep breath, pulled up his brightest smile, and said, "I did have a question," confidently as he could. Joonmyun leaned in a bit more, tilting his head attentively, and Jongdae continued, "Shouldn't you be on top of a Christmas tree?"

Joonmyun raised an eyebrow. Jongdae held up a hand, stuttering a bit in his rush to get the next part out. "B-because you're an angel," he finished quickly, and comprehension dawned in Joonmyun's eyes. Jongdae wondered if he could just drop out of sight in front of the counter and crawl away without Joonmyun noticing. Curse Chanyeol for this idea. Curse his inability to be smooth around cute people. Curse -

"An angel?" Joonmyun said thoughtfully, something like fondness softening his expression. Jongdae nodded, not trusting himself to speak right now. Joonmyun was silent for a moment, looking down at his hands with a tiny, secret smile. "That's - "

Someone burst into tears behind Jongdae and flung themselves at the help desk, babbling about a 10-page paper that was due before midnight and oh god could someone help them because the computer had just eaten it all? Joonmyun's expression flickered with something like frustration, so fast Jongdae thought that he'd imagined it, but he was instantly around the counter, soothing the student and patting them on the back. Jongdae melted away, slowly, not sure what to feel. Was this a great method of wooing, or a terrible one? He was so preoccupied with this thought, he didn't notice Joonmyun watching him as he walked away.

✦

Jongdae was a mess. He'd had at least three cups of coffee, all very heavily laden with sugar. He'd forgotten his mittens. He'd forgotten his term paper, too, which is _how_ he'd forgotten his mittens, leaving them on the counter when he sprinted back to get the paper off of his printer. He was a mess and he was pining for Joonmyun and he'd just realized that there was another deadline for this evening he had to meet and everything was awful and he was seriously considering dropping out of school to become a pole dancer. He could do it, Jongdae mused, flopped half on top of his notes, head on his arms. He just needed more upper body strength.

"Jongdae?" came a sweet voice from behind him, and Jongdae closed his eyes. He was dreaming. Was it a nightmare, or a happy dream? He wasn't sure that he would be able to woo Joonmyun after the peer helper saw him with dark eye circles the size and colour of the Mariana trench.

"Hello," he mumbled into his arms, and heard a light laugh and a brief touch on his hair - was Joonmyun patting his head? Jongdae was instantly 50 times more awake. He lifted his head from his arms, warily.

Joonmyun had sat down next to him and was smiling, looking Jongdae over with something akin to concern. "End of term got you down?" he asked, and Jongdae nodded. "Why is everything due on the same day," he lamented, rubbing at his eyes. "Why, Joonmyun?"

Joonmyun's hand found its way to Jongdae's shoulder, and he patted him consolingly. "You're almost done," he said, soothingly. "Almost done. When's your last exam?"

"Programming," Jongdae sighed. "December 20."

"And then you'll be free," Joonmyun continued. "Right? A whole three weeks of break."

Jongdae nodded. "Thanks," he mumbled, and then realized that this was his golden opportunity. He cleared his throat. "Hyung, are you a present?"

Joonmyun's hand stopped patting, and his smile morphed into something anticipatory. "Maybe," he told Jongdae, leaning in a bit. Jongdae mirrored him, scooting a bit closer to the edge of his chair.

"Well," Jongdae continued, "I think I want to unwrap you."

Joonmyun laughed - full-on laughed, the corners of his eyes curling upwards. "Is the peer helper sweater that bad?" he asked, chuckling, and Jongdae shook his head solemnly. "It's growing on me," he told Joonmyun, and leaned in a little more. Maybe the pick-up line thing was working. Maybe they were going to - kiss -

"Hyung!" came a voice, and Jongdae froze mid-pucker, turning that wonderful shade of purple-red. He withdrew, a bit, and Joonmyun murmured 'wait', but there was no way that Jongdae was going to let his first kiss with Joonmyun be in front of the same lanky string bean that had nearly blocked his _first_ pick-up line attempt. Jongdae looked up at the intruder, who was now monopolizing Joonmyun's attention.

"... please can I use the staff room coffee machine," the string bean was now saying, and Joonmyun raised an eyebrow. "Yes, sure, go," he told the boy impatiently, who had turned to leave before narrowing his eyes at Jongdae.

"Is this who keeps using bad pick up lines on you?" he asked, surveying Jongdae like he was on a microscope. Jongdae froze and looked between Joonmyun and the string bean, but the damage was already done. Joonmyun frowned and said "Sehun, go away," and when the lanky student had (presumably in search of better quality coffee), Jongdae was looking down at his notes, expression calm.

"I think I need to study," he told Joonmyun, who's frown deepened.

"Are you okay?" he asked, and Jongdae pulled a smile to his lips.

"I will be when exams are over," he said. Joonmyun looked like he wanted to say something else, but thought the better of it. He nodded, and patted Jongdae's shoulder once more, before leaving him to his notes.

Once Joonmyun was out of sight, Jongdae faceplanted into his pages once more. "Chanyeol has the _worst_ ideas," he proclaimed, and sighed.

✦

It was over. It was _finally_ over, Jongdae thought, trailing out of his last exam with 100 other tired students. At least his exams had gone well (as well as expected, anyways), because despite pining over Joonmyun, he'd managed to focus. (After an intervention, but - that was just a minor detail). He could now go home and sleep for three weeks, pine all he wanted, and eat an unnecessary amount of gingerbread to dull the pain. He hadn't been to the library for a little while, a bit too embarrassed to look Joonmyun in the eye - at least, he mused, the orange sweater made him easy to spot.

Of course, if he'd been using the horrible orange sweater to ID Joonmyun, he was going to have some trouble recognizing him without it, which was something that Jongdae hadn't considered. In fact, he walked right past a blue sweater-clad Joonmyun before he heard his name, and jerked his head up to see the peer helper, looking as perfect as ever in a blue sweater and glasses. Jongdae swallowed nervously.

"Hey," Joonmyun said cheerfully, reaching out to tug Jongdae out of the line of traffic. "You're done! Congratulations!"

Jongdae's mouth went dry. Joonmyun's hand was wrapped around his wrist, he was here for Jongdae's last exam and wearing a blue sweater, and Jongdae was really not sure what was going on. "Uh. Thanks," he said eloquently, and Joonmyun cocked his head.

"I haven't seen you since Sehun opened his big mouth," Joonmyun told him. "So I didn't get to ask you something."

"Ask me something?" Jongdae squeaked, and Joonmyun nodded, a tiny and embarrassed smile gracing his features. "Well," he said, "I wanted to know if I could have your picture."

"My picture," Jongdae echoed, completely confused.

"Your picture," Joonmyun confirmed, looking sheepish. "So that I can show Santa what I want for Christmas."

Jongdae blinked. Blinked again. And then, unbidden, a large smile started to work its way over his features. "You want me for Christmas?" he asked Joonmyun, unable to resist poking fun. "You don't have to ask Santa, you know."

"I know," Joonmyun agreed serenely, though his cheeks were a bit flushed. "You think I'm an angel."

And Jongdae just laughed and twisted his hand so that his fingers were now linked through Joonmyun's, unable to believe his luck. "I do," he agreed, just to see Joonmyun smile.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am Jongdae. Jongdae is me. Except I only have a term paper due tomorrow and regret, and no Joonmyun. How sad. 
> 
> I'm on [tumblr](http://cutenerds.tumblr.com/) if you ever want to say hi!


End file.
